July 09, 2015

God's blessings

Yes I know I have not been on here in a while, and I am sorry for that...even though no offense I don't see myself having many followers even when I was doing this on a daily basis.

Onto tonight's thoughts though: Two years ago if you had told me that I would be where I am in life I would have probably laughed at you.  Right now I have a wonderful man who takes care of me, and cares about me.  In my opinion that is a big deal.  We are about 4 hours away from eachother and working on moving into our first home together.  I have lived with his parents (long long story, that was never my goal in life and I would not suggest anyone doing it) for a year now.  I appreciate his parents taking me in when I didn't have any place to live, and I appreciate that they have allowed me to live here while we have been trying to find a place to live. I have always tried to stay away from my personal life on this blog just because well, I don't want some creeper to staulk me through this.  So I'm sorry but I'm not going to go into detail about my love life.
What I'm going to say is this: There are two phrases that NONE of your single friends actually want to hear:
"What if you never get married" 
especially followed by this:
"You need to understand that if it is God's plan for you, you need to be okay with being single for life"
"When are you going to go on a date? I don't see you ever going out? When are you going to have a boyfriend"
This is what people about this time two years ago were actually telling me.  They would tell me things like this at the age of 22!!  Looking back on it, I know I was being silly worrying about it, but at the time I was staring down the fact that both of my brothers had been married by the age of 23, and as I was closing in on that birthday I still had yet to ever even go on a simple date much less even think about marrying someone.  I was feeling like an old maid and everyone that I was turning to was telling me things like that.  I know that they were well meaning, but trust me, as a single woman you are already thinking these things.  And if you aren't thinking the first things, you don't need to be.  I understand now that honestly it's not THAT big of a deal that I am the oldest out of my siblings not married, because I am living a completely different life than my siblings, but had you told me that two years ago, no I would not have understood.  I finally had a mental break down from people actually constantly telling me the above and called one of my closest friends.  She came out to see me, and was the first person to tell me that it was ok.  That it was ok to go after the desire of my heart, and that God does want to give you the desire of your heart even if it's not right when you want it.  She laughingly told me that she saw me getting married to the first man that I met and that we would probably have the most children out of any of our friends.  It made me laugh, and honestly her just praying over me and letting me know that those people telling me those things don't know the harm they are doing. They meant well, it was just misplaced. It felt like she was the first person to actually hear me.  Actually hear me when I was telling her my hurt.
I am writing this to let you guys know when you are dealing with your single friends and they have that desire of the heart, don't just brush it off.  Even if you are single too and you don't have that desire, don't just brush off what your friend is telling you.  Hear them out, let them cry, and then pray with them.  Let them know that they will find someone. Let them know over everything that they are worth love, and that they will find the man that respects them and deserves them. Let them know that they don't have to settle or even accept that they might never get married.  I'm sorry but even if you are 60 and still looking, get off the couch, and go look! I don't believe there is ever a time that you have to give up.
On another hand I would be wrong to not let you know you do have to learn to trust Him.  God does have his timing, and when you find that man in his timing it will be perfect.  If you don't give it to God's timing though, you won't find the right guy.  If you are wanting the right guy that treats you right and respects you, it takes patience and a bunch of leaning on him. After talking with my friend and really for the first time in my life placing my love life in His hands, within a month of redoing my profile on a dating site, my current boyfriend messaged me. And currently we are moving along at a great pace and looking towards the next step.  It is really an exciting time in my life and I can't wait to see where Christ leads us next.

I know that this whole blog has been a bunch of rambling and I'm sorry if my thoughts on this have been not so easy to follow, but I hope that everyone gets some type of take away, and I hope that you all have a wonderful blessed night!