April 18, 2010

life is on the way up

As I look back on my last couple of months life has been so good, the only problem is that I haven't been focusing on the positive. I have been looking at that I need to do this, or I need to do that, or that one thing happened, and another didn't. I don't mean to say that I havent had positive times, however my positive times have more been like the times that I have been even really more conscience about what's going on. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone, but for some reason I seem to go through times when I don't feel anything, I'm just numb. The best way to explain it is to say that I am just watching the world pass by me and this person Sarah says things and does things and I don't know what she does. I know that sometimes that feeling is associated with depression, but read my gotta get this stuff off my mind post, because it explains everything in that area. ANYWAYS...Today I was listening to Guinevere by Eli Young Band and it almost made me cry, because I could see myself in that song. I seriously feel like some times I stumble constantly but at the same time, whenever I look back I knotice how far I have ran. It is so simple to look at the stumbles in life, and not the distance. I think at one point in life we need to look at the distance rather than the fall we just got up from. I don't know if it's the warmer weather haha or what but life really does seem to be looking up. I am going to call a daycare place tomorrow about a job, I have a new hair cut, a new hair color (highlights), and am about to sign up and start a new degree. If I said that I wasn't ready for another relationship, i would lie. I do want a guy, I am ready for a guy, however, I am not going to go run for it. I am not going to chase after guys anymore. I am just going to let God do his thing, I know that he has one out there for me, and I will wait. You also can't talk about this song without listening to the second part, "as much as she's running she's still here". That part hits right to my life. It seems like no matter how much I change myself, I will always be who I am. There are certain things that will never change in my life. I will never abandon my faith, I will never abandon my family, and I will certainly never abandon myself. I mean abandon myself as in lose myself in the things that I do. I am one of those people that knows just who I am, and really even if something happens to change me in my life, I still cling to the things in my life that I know are true: God loves me and saved me, my family will always be my support and finally I can always run into my daddy's arms when I need to. Well my leg is cramping up, so I am going to have to give the computer a break...talk to yall later :)

April 09, 2010

Favorite songs...or two of them...

Hell on the heart
Pray for you
The first one just makes me happy when ever I hear it, and the second one is just cute :) it definitely makes me laugh...